Well, the holidays are over.
The Christmas tree is on it’s way to the incinarator, the decorations are back to collecting dust and oh yeah, your beautifull job is back in full swing (assignements, deadlines and all). It can be a little hard to get back on track. Momentum has been lost. Most of us need a new target to aim at; some type of goal to motivate us through the new year. What better way than to have a New Year’s Resolution!
A New Year’s Resolution gives us more purpose, more focus. It either pulls us towards success or pushes away from failure. One thing is for certain though: it’s aim is make us a better person.
Why then, is it so damn hard for us to keep our resolutions? Why do we give up on our goals and ourselves? Is there something wrong with us? Are we in some way defective?
Well, I’ve infiltrated a few guilds,orders and secret societies of the highest order and studied their ways (don’t tell anyone). After reading and re-reading my lenghty notes I couldn’t help but notice a pattern emerge. The secret to keeping a resolution derives mostly from mindset; how you approach it.
Here are my findings. I believe they apply to pretty much every resolution out there. Let’s see what successful goal setters do.
1-They Focus on the Process More Than the Goal
Whatever it is we want to improve at, there is a goal and then there is a process. The goal is important, but not nearly as much as the process. Focusing on the goal only tells us how incomplete we are, how far off we are from being worthy. The longer it takes for us to reach that goal, the longer we stay in this state of frustration.
If we manage to re-wire our thinking into beleiving that the process itself is valuable, so much changes. We learn to value the experience more than the outcome. We pride ourselves in winning the small battles along the way
Here’s an example:
Suzy X works in a sales role. She needs to reach quarterly goals. She understands that in order for her to reach those goals, she needs to follow a process: make some calls, send some emails, etc.
She may or may not reach her goal every time. She doesn’t have TOTAL control over that. However, she does control the process.
2-They Make Peace with Setbacks
Contrary to popular belief, the road to success is usually serpentine, not linear. There will be obstacles and setbacks through no fault of our own. With every setback, our ego takes a hit. Indeed, none of us like to recede.
However, setbacks are normal. Things cannot always be smooth sailing. It is crucial to understand this. Even if we took the time to lock ourselves into our fortress of solitude to devise a master plan for every single one of our goals, we would still be confronted to an unforseen event at some point. There will be setbacks not matter what. Making peace with setbacks is essential for reaching our goals.
3-They Invest Time and Energy in a Mentor
Ressources are needed for pretty much anything. You need time to learn something new, money to keep a roof over your head and most likely a solid network of connections to have a better chance of landing your dream job.
When it comes to reaching goals, the invaluable ressource is a good mentor. I plan on writing a post or two about mentoring, but for now I would just like to outline the 2 main reasons why I beleive mentoring is so valuable.
If a tree happens to fall in some forest and nobody either sees or hears it fall…. Did it really fall?
What if that tree had fallen under someone’s responsibility and that that person was looking over it. That would change the answer to the question, wouldn’t it?
Setting a goal and a resolution and keeping it for yourself is riky business. Having a mentor who knows about the objectives you want to acheive makes the goal real. And because it’s real and someone is aware of it, you automatically become more accountable.
Let’s face it. If you’ve labelled something as a goal it’s probably because it’s something you can’t acheive with your eyes closed and your hands tied behind your back. THERE IS SOME LEVEL OF DIFFICULTY. Support from a trusted and qualified mentor is helpfull on so many levels. He/she will give you:
- new ideas
- deeper understanding/ insight
- moral support
There are certainly many different ways we can acheive success. We are all diffrerent and have our own methods. However, when it comes to setting goals or a New Year’s resolution the recipe can be streamlined. Pick up these 3 habits and you’ll be better able to hold on to that resolution.