The divide isn’t between GOOD and BAD. The devide is between STRONG and WEAK.
They say Good Guys finish last.
The kind hearted, accommodating, righteous guy doesn’t get the girl – at least not in bed. He orbits around his object of desire, like a satellite does around the Earth. No matter how hard he tries, he will always be at arms length, in the proverbial friend zone.
Indeed, Good Guys finish last.
If the Good Guy finishes last it’s because he’s got it twisted. He can be caught reaching for the dessert fork during the appetizer or the menu long after the feast has ended. He mistakenly begins at the end. He puts the cart before the horse .
Simply put, he doesn’t understand that sexual affairs follow a certain course. That you must play your cards in the right order. He projects traits that relate to comfort- that feeling of trust and connection- instead of aiming to ATTRACT first. In caveman terms what that means is he shows off that he will not abondon his child bearing mate. That he will be there for her through thick and thin. That he is emotionally reliable.
The Good Guy is the provider.
There is another breed in the romantic fauna: the Bad Boy. What the Bad Boy understands (or at least seamingly understands) is that a girl will not want you to f*** her brains out simply because you helped her with her groceries. Pardon my language. Attraction often comes from a place of discomfort. Sexual tension. And so I ignoring her, being aloof, being unpredictable and leading the way are all traits that border on virility.
The Bad Boy is the lover.
It would then make sense that the Good Guy very easily befriends women. He displays loyalty, companionship and dependability. But the way out of the friend zone and into “the zone” is sex and he sure as hell ain’t gettin’ that!
We seem to oppose these two characters. We believe there is a divide between GOOD and BAD, that you either fall into one category or another.
There is yet another archetype in the relationship fauna; a hybrid, a blend of both types. He is an upgrade, the best of both worlds.
Introducing the Gentleman.
Check out PART 2 here.