When gazed upon intently by an unwanted set of eyes, you can’t always be gentle in your dismissal. I totally understand. There are many different breeds of men out there; some are worth consideration, but most of them just don’t fit the bill. Some guys do deserve to be be turned down in a cold manner. Not all though.

Fending off undesirables in an artful manner has it’s benefits. There’s no doubt about it.

I’d like to sum up 5 proven ways of turning a man down in a politically correct manner. That is without being a b*tch about it. They’ll be presented as personas/attitudes.  I’ll place every single one of them in a situation, list it’s pros and cons and then give you my rating.

The Emotionally Detached

The situation: A man musters up the courage to approach you. For whatever reason, you’re just not having it. You play the Emotionally Detached. If he asks you a question you give him monosyllabic answers. If he says anything that doesn’t require a response you simply let awkward silence work it’s magic. Most guys will get the point…

Indifference is the best way of being polite while remaining closed off to the person who’s getting in your space.


Non confrontational.


Relies on the invader’s social skills. Some guys just won’t get it.

Not the most time sensitive tactic.

My rating: 7/10

The Stop Sign

The situation: The most direct of tactics:”Sorry, not interested.” It also has great ad-ons: “I have a boyfriend, I’m married, I don’t date colleagues…” Whatever the reason may be, you stop the guy dead in his tracks. There is no room for interpretation.

Certainly my favorite way of being turned down (yes, I have already been turned down. Once). Straightforwardness simply puts all the cards on the table. You’re not interested. That’s it, that’s all.


Stops the guy dead in his tracks.

Leaves no place for interpretation.

Time sensitive (you don’t drag him along).


You might hurt his feelings and have him resent you.

Might start a fire.

My rating: 8/10

The Social Butterfly

Situation: You’re at a social gathering. You don’t want to make a scene and risk embarrassment when turning a guy down. You make small talk to pretty much everybody and make sure to give everybody equal treatment. Smiling, laughing friendly touching are in no way indicators of interest on your part. They’re just your baseline, your normal way of being.

Be playful with men who approach you. Play along. That kind of behavior demonstrates you are cheerful and sociable with anyone who shows you respect. By being a Social Butterfly, you talk to everybody in the room. It indicates that chatting comes naturally to you. See it as a quick friend zoning technique.


Very suave.

Easiest way to friend zone a guy.

Stress free tactic.


Very difficult to pull off when you’re not in a social setting.

By being warm and friendly you might spark attraction. Not what you want to do here.

My rating: 9/10

The Cold Shoulder

The situation:

This tactic is usually employed with someone you’ve already been on a date with. It can manifest in different ways. A no reply, not aswering the phone, basically any form of avoidance.


Non confrontational


The guy will feel like you lead him on.

Usually leads to an unhappy ending.

My rating: 7/10

The Busy Bee

The situation: The two of you have been acquainted and have been talking for a few minutes. You see where the conversation might lead. Him asking you out. You subtly let him know how hectic your schedule is; how you don’t even have time to see those closest to you. In addition, you’ll be swamped by extra work the next few days. You’re a busy bee and you don’t have time for anybody. That includes prince charming.

What is important here is to leave no holes in the story. No hope that you may be free at some point. You’re not busy next week. You’re ALWAYS busy. Dating won’t be possible for the next 5 years.


Non confrontational.


Requires congruence. Watch out with facebook updates. If you’re busy, actually be busy, not at that concert he invited you to.

My rating: 9/10

Am I forgetting one? Let me know in the comments below. I’d love to hear about other ways of Acing a turn down.


Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

About Yoto (6 Articles)
Soccer, Fitness, Personal development.

What do YOU thinK?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: